New school year activities in our «trip in space and time»
Here we are with our 1st activity to be accomplished this school year. Teacher's team of the project expect you like it.
What we are proposing to you is to analyse «Helena's testimony» and «Love, infatuation and physical attraction», and to discuss it. It's a task to be done individually or in a group.
If you choose to work in group, you can join collegues of your class or, if you prefere, you can join your parents, your grandparents, your friends, your girlfriend/boyfriend... well, everyone you want. What really matters is that you can improve your ideas about this relevant subject of your life and, at the same time, you can improve your skills in English language and your skills in ICT. Also, everybody envolved improves knowledge about different people from diferent cultures. If we think this way, this will be a very exciting task, don't you agree?... It's good to dialogue upon this interesting issue with people from so different points in Europe!
So, our methodology is: you read the testimony; you think about the subject; you (eventually) discuss the ideas you have about it; you write and submit your comment bellow in the post or you send it to your teacher to publish it in this blogue.
Teacher's team wish you GOOD WORK!
Helena's testimony
«Like many others, at the age of 16-17 I used to dream to find a perfect man. One day I knew Sérgio. Everything was marvellous!
Suddenly our relationship became a quiet love relation. We were part of the same class, we saw one each other every day and, at night, we used to spend hours having conversations on the telephone so that we could share last news. In a summary, everything was going fine.
[...]
But, one day, Sérgio wanted me to feel that the «flirt» was not good enough for him anymore. He wanted to go deeper. It was a shock to me. It’s true everyone around us used to do it. But I couldn’t surrender: that was against my convictions, against my family, against so many things I could not forget.
Also I could not decide to give up my love for him. I was afraid. Afraid of loneliness and afraid of being unable to find someone to love me. He didn’t approve my convictions and used to talk about it to other people. I remember one common friend that came to me and she told me: “I think Sérgio has a lot of courage to keep going on with you! You don’t have the right to deny him what he wants! All you need is to take contraceptive pill.”
This situation continued until next Summer. Finally, as if I could not hold up the situation anymore, I decided to finish the relationship. It was not easy. I had moments of loneliness, because I didn’t dare to meet again old friends.
Lately, I found Alexandre, that loves me the way I am. Happily I was loyal to myself
Helena»
• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Comments
You can see all 51 comments on this activity in a post published on 17 of November (firstly) and then it changed on 19 of December. In this page we published a part of the comments related (it is not technicaly good to publish all comments in one page only).
Related with this activity we have the following posts and comments that you can see at home page:
- Love, infatuation and physical attraction, November 27, 2010 - 10 comments (see them at home page or bellow)
- 1st December, December 1, 2010 - 3 comments
- Wonderful comments, December 4, 2010 (see them at home page or bellow)
- Being "psychologically adult" and to be prepared to have sex intercourse, December 5, 2010 - 6 comments
- Human maturity - to have sex and to have vote: should this 2 subjects be linked?, December 29, 2010 - 7 comments
- A trip back in time, January 29, 2011 - 13 comments
- Sex, values, culture and human freedom in action, March 9, 2011 - 6 comments
November 22, 2010
Maria Rita, Filipe e Patrícia - 11ºA
With support of Anabela Jacinto.
Yes, We agree with Helena’s decision because everyone has their own sexuality and intimacy, nobody, not even the person we love the most, has the right to violate it. It is a private matter , that should only be exposed when we are prepared.
We think Helena would feel worthless, and confused concerning her future with Sérgio.
No. A person who really loves another waites as long as it takes to move on with the relationship, and respects his lover.
It is not a true friend. It's like Sergio, a person who does not respect others.
No. The problem was a personal conviction and not the fear regarding the consequences of the sexual act.
The maturity of teens differs, depending on their education and the environment where they are raised up, therefore, we abstain from this subject.
We think they should not have sexual relationships. Yes, it is possible that one of them gets emotionally traumatised. Of the two, the more likely to stay with a trauma is the girl, because girls are usually more sensitive when it comes to this matters.
In a possible pregnancy, both parents should take responsibility. We feel that pregnancy at our age its not appropriate ( we are neither mentally or financially ready), although we incentivate pregnant teenagers to keep the baby, because, as we know, it is not baby’s fault and everybody as the write to live.
Yes, it is possible. Contraceptive methods ( ex: condoms) are not 100% flawless.
No, there are other ways to get pleasure. Couples should only start sexual relationships when they are both ready.
November 23, 2010
Alex Russkikh - 11ºA - Portugal
IT is very difficult to answer such questions without knowing what kind of relationships they had, how close they were and how did they understand each other.
A guy could not realy love her- wasn't enough patient, or she was just a coward girl.
And indeed I don't like your attitude towards sex as its a sin.
Well if it did not work out - stop the relationships, aren't we living in a new era?
This is all the experience we get living our lifes
How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
and feel like people have experienced the strongest pleasure
And how people are feeling after the most pleasure in the world? - minimum Satisfied
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
Well, It depends from their psychological development
If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why? Well, only if one of them is very bad in bed.
What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
How it could appeared if the contraceptive were used?? Question is a paradox or I don't understand something??
Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
hello, if contraceptive pills are well taken how can a girl get pregnancy?? Same paradox=)
Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Of course it isn't! the best pleasure in the love is when you have found you second part (Im very romantic, eh...)
Also we have marihuana, LSD (joking^^)
November 25, 2010
Anonymous
Yes, I agree her decision to break up with her boyfriend, because nobody have to say her what she must to do with her life.
She felt compelled, because she didn't fell ready
No, he doesn't love her
I think her friend wasn't like a friend, she must understand her and support her
November 25, 2010
Anonymous
Yes, I agree with Helena decision because she had all the right to refuse him because her convictions. Because of he didn't wanted to accept her decision, he proved that he never respected her.
If she had surrender to her boyfriend clams, she would felt humiliated and also with a low-self opinion. she would regret a lot "her decision".
I really think that Sergio didn't love her. Even that he didn't cared about her!
I think that her "friend" proved by what she said to her that she wasn't a real good friend. And no, she didn't adviced her well.
No, I don't think that to take contraceptive pill or to use condom was a solution of her problems because her only problem was that Sergio forced her to do a thing that she didn't wanted to do.
I don't think that the age of 16-17 years old is enough to make sex, because it's a fragile age.
It's not enough to only feel phisical attraction but also need to feel more than that. It is possible that one of them to have emotional traumas, especially if she/he is more sensible.
November 25, 2010
Anonymous
• I agree with Helena's decision.I would do the same thing because Sergio pressured her to begin her sex life.
• She should had felt very alone because he eventually would leave her.
• No, he didn't loved her.
• It's a bad advice.Condom it's the safest mode to have sex.
• She should talk to Sergio about her feelings and if she had to take this step she must use a condom.
• No, at age of 16 or 17 you aren't old enough to have sex.
• Yes, it's possible.Usually girls are the most damaged after a relationship with sexual activity because they feel abandoned and alone.
• Pregnancy at ages so young it's wrong. Once you make this step, both have to assume this responsibility.
• Condoms are the safest.99% safe. So it's possible.
• No. It's a way to bond with your partner and have children.
November 25, 2010
Anonymous
I agree with Helena`s decision because her relationship it wasn`t strong enough. Her boyfriend doesn`t loved her in the way she loved him. I think that Sergio doesn`t really and truelly loved her. Their common friend was rude, because Helena it wasn`t right with her. Her decision is her decision and nothing and nobody could change it. To take contraceptice pill or to use condom it wasn`t a good solution to Helena`s problems. 16-17 years teenagers aren`t mature enough to have sex. I think that a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex only if they want, or feel to. After they finish their relantionship, is possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas because one of them is possible that still loves his partner.
An aventual pregnacy is good for those who want to have a baby, but is very bad for those who don`t protect them. Responsability it should be taken by both of them, because the two of them have the same blame. Pregnacy is possible even if the contraceptive caution are taken, in case they aren`t taken good. Sex is a way to get pleasure, but not only.
November 25, 2010
Artem Pyesotskyy
- It is in these years, should have known going in a serious relationship that may arise such problems if they really loved each other and cherish each other could all do without it. I can neither accept nor reject because we do not know any details.
- It depends on how she perceives it. For some people it does fine, for each other ...
- We can not know what feelings he felt for her, its too little information for the analysis of such complex processes like love
- Well, firstly no one who does not have to, as well as other logic can be understood
- If he loved her, they would have been happy together and she really saw that it was only one person then the issue of sex would not have had any problems except for pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases
- Everything depends on the psychological and physical development of person
- Of course it is possible that someone somewhere will remain wound, but it is the result of how you feel about this and in what terms it is worth.
- If they both wanted it, then here in this case are problem of two
- Well, a very small percentage here blame those who buy low-quality product and do not use it as intended
- Well of course it all depends on the person. for loving couples is more than just sex
P.S. I hope there is clearly written on my broken English
November 26, 2010
Anonymous
I think is a very intresting story and helena make a very good choise when she decide to leave sergio.
November 29, 2010
Chryssa - Greece
Hello. I'm Chryssa from Greece and I agree totally with your point of view. A relation that is not on the same terms is not worth continuing it. Every person has the right to choose the time to start his/her sexual life because the first time is very important no mather if the person is a girl or a boy.
November 29, 2010
Maria - Greece
Hi Jorge!
Hello to all of you!
Today I had a very interesting discussion on Helena's testimony with a new group of my students. I could write a summary of our conversation but I'm afraid that I will repeat what has already been said by the Portuguese students. It seems that we all agree on the basic question about Helena's decision. Be sure that within the next days we'll have another meeting and we'll submit our thoughts.
It's very interesting to talk on real cases, that bring in mind personal experience and make us reflect on our own decisions.
November 29, 2010
Emanuel santos
In my way of thinking, love its not sex so i really agree with helena's choise not only bcause of her selfrespect and also bcause she could have got aids or other sexual disease.
I think sérgio wasn't really in love with her... i think he was only interested to have sex with her.
right now i can't answer to more questions cause i don't have much time but ill do it tomorow
November 29, 2010
Jorge Rocha
I'd like to talk about the attitude of Helena's friend. A lot of persons do exactly the same. To have sex as a teenager became an ideological question; people assume that it is something that must take place. Sometimes teenagers try to find a partner just to have sex and to say that they had already that experience! Of course this is a stupid decision, because it is the lost of personality. Having personality means that the girl/boy choses if it is the moment and that is the right partner to be involved in a sexual meaning. Helena's friend adviced her to loose her personality and, like a lot of the comments said, that is not an advice of a friend... or it is an advice of a realy bad friend, an advice of somebody that lives following the rules of the majority, even if majority doen't care about what is right and what is wrong to develop person's self love.
December 1, 2010
José Freitas, Maria Biatriz, Mariana Viola, Tiago Rosado
Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, we do agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio. The basis of relationships should be respect and he disrespected her by pressurizing her. If he really loved her he wouldn’t do so and he would attempt to understand her convictions.
How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
We believe that she would feel bad with herself for having done something that she wasn’t prepared for and that went against her own convictions.
Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, if he really loved her he would give her more time and he wouldn’t pressurize her.
What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
Helena’s friend might have attempted to be honest, however she only managed to pressurize her even more. This isn’t something we should do to our friends.
Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
This solution wouldn’t change her opinion, due to the fact that her problem wasn’t only the fear to get pregnant or to catch diseases – but something emotional.
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
That depends from teenager to teenager, from mentality to mentality, seeing that young people from countries and cultures have different educations and different ways of thinking.
Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
Making love is an act that should be practiced with heart and a physical attraction at our age is something that passes very quickly. Girls take this matter a little more seriously than boys and since they aren’t emotionally stable, having sexual relationships would increase the probability of them falling in love.
What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
This is a difficult case. If they are both responsible for the consequence, they must both take responsibility. It would be extremely hard because being teenagers they aren’t psychologically stable and economically stable.
Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
Of course, not all contraceptives are 100% safe, and there are few that are, but it also depends on what is used and what is the probability for it to fail.
Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
It's a way to give pleasure, but it isn’t a unique pleasure.
December 1, 2010
Maria and Greeke team
I am late in publishing this post but in Greece people say: Better late than never!
Besides that, a world's day exists to remind us something that we tend to forget the rest of the year. So, it's not a big deal that we missed the day. We keep working on the cause though!
On December 1st, Despina and I, dedicated one of our teaching hours discussing with our 16 y.o. students about issues referred to our project. We talked about Helena's testimony, about contraception, about attitudes, reaching an audience of 85 students that day.
It's not easy to engage so many students in our blog, so I am posting here on their behalf. Even that way, the aim of our project is highly achieved.
What was obvious during our talking was the different point of views between boys and girls, in the question if a 16 y.o. adolescent is mature enough to have sex. Boys were saying that girls of even younger ages are having sex, so what's the big deal? They tended to deal with the discussion more lightheartedly than girls, giving a sign of immaturity that struck the girls.
My experience through the years that I am dealing with sexual education shows that at the upper secondary education students have a more responsible behavior than in lower secondary education, and that's a fact that highlights the need to address sexual education at younger ages.
I feel that the topics of our project are endless! I will try to keep my posts short though, so that students can follow them easier.
Take care, and remember that knowledge and awareness are the key to a healthy sexual life!
December 2, 2010
Noémia santos
Hi! A very good year to you all.
I gave a look to the discussion about Helena's case. There are very interesting questions and opinions, and I agree with the most part of them ...but I think there's still space to discuss some complex essues, not only related with this case, but more general questions you put, ex:
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
The law, in each country, as something to do with the way teenagers and families deal with this essues?
What is the role of friends in our decisions?
I'll try to discuss in small groups and to publish our conclusions ... or doubts.
'See' you soon.
December 3, 2010
Jorge Rocha
Hello Noémia, hello my dear students! It is very good for me to meet you in our blog. I have already said in other comment I am so proud of my students (our students, because they are students of Noémia too)! Your points of view shaw you are not only students wanting to know more and more each new day, but you are also very good partners... it is always a pleasure not only being at work with you, but, specially, being in life with you. This is not an easy way... you, please, be strong and just keep going straight ahead.
I need to ask you to be more activ doing comments in our blog. In fact, your comments are precious; so, with them, this project improves a lot!
December 4, 2010
Demosfen
"Making love is an act that should be practiced with heart and a physical attraction at our age is something that passes very quickly. Girls take this matter a little more seriously than boys and since they aren’t emotionally stable, having sexual relationships would increase the probability of them falling in love."
But also there is sex without responsibilities - way to get pleasure and nothing more. unfortunately this way is growing and growing
December 4, 2010
Desi
• Of course, she doesn't have to go against her convictions just because someone is pushing her.
• I think she may have felt terrible, because the person she used to love was pushing her to do something she didn't wanted to.
• No, he didn't loved her, otherwise, he would have understand why she recused his claims and have respected her.
• I think her friend was totally wrong, she is free and not even a friend has the right to say suchs things.
• No, of course not, even if she took those options, she would be still going against her convictions, not solving the problem.
• No, of course not.
• No, they should wait until they're older. Maybe both would have emotional traumas, not only just one of them, because, at least I think, only after it, they'll understand that they were not prepared and that they should wait and grow a little (both emotional and physically)
• That would be a risc, and both of them should take responsability.
• Yes, sometimes those methods fail.
• No, sex is not the only way of having pleasure. The company and the fellings that we have to other person are more important.
December 4, 2010
Jorge Rocha
Here we have an interesting dialogue between one of our students, Alex Russkikh, and his sister. This is something I really like to be increased: each one of us involving our friends discussing this subjects. Congratulations for the both of you!
«Acentfrio: hi sis)
Acentfrio: listen if you have time you can write me what for you means to be "psychologically adult"
Acentfrio: it is all related to that topic about "the right time for intimacy and sexual relations," that our teacher develops)
Acentfrio: I'll look at what you think about it and compare it to what I have ^ _ ^
Mary V: it mean to answer for your actions, never shift responsibility and the consequences on the others, be able to measure yourself with others - people close to you, to be able to find a way in all kind of different situations
Acentfrio: psychologically adult can be associated with - ability to life for yourself, self-sufficiency?
Mary V: in general, independence and responsibility is when you are not under the influence of another people, and itself decided
Mary V: Well, old enough perhaps can even be minor (younger that 18), people who still dependent from parents Financial independence is not a criterion for here, while self-sufficient - yes
Mary V: not only "to live by itself, but also live near other people"
Mary V: Teen wants to break away at all costs, to show their independence, to defend his "world", while an adult measure their actions with the people with whom his life is connected.»
Acentfrio: then another question: how to get the psychological trauma from the relationships if there was not violence?
Mary V: You can. exist different kind of violence
Mary V: for example, an excessive care and love leave trauma - overwhelming/suppresses, you feel guilty for hurting someone who takes every possible way to show love for you just because she/he likes you like you are (gosta de ti como tu és)
Mary V: for a lot of ways to manipulate. it happens anyway, and often can lead to injury
Mary V: that is, the desire to influence the partner, change it to remake itself in the details or in a big scale is very common. There are also their own complexes and fears that hinder talk about feelings, to call things by their own words. therefore there are such strange things ...
Mary V: When too much love is shown, and the man says, "I love you, meet my expectations, but in fact he does not love you but loves the person who he thought (analogia com sombras) , or he is just afraid of loneliness, for example.
Mary V: I mean, the manifestation of love and care does not mean love, maybe something else
Mary V: for example, excessive solicitude/care of mother develops a guilt complex in child's, prevents the development of his personality, his mother just did not want him growing up - and this trauma for the child
Acentfrio: I think we always think by itself (somente pensamos em sí)
Mary V: no. if you come with someone in serious relationship, then you are ready to think about two, for two. If you have a child - even more so. if you get married and have a child, but think only of yourself - you're not grown up ...
I think to avoid emotional traumas, we have to be honest with your partner...
Acentfrio: I have not nothing more to say) I hope my discuss with sister will contributes for this theme.»
December 4, 2010
Inês Vieira - 11ºB
• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, I agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio. I think it's necessary respect and patience in a relationship, shouldn’t be made pressures on these matters of personal and intimate nature. And, if her boyfriend couldn’t accept her decision, then it is because he isn’t worth her personal delivery or even her effort.
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
In my opinion I think she would have felt uncomfortable with herself if she had surrendered to her boyfriend claims, because she would be doing something for which she was not yet ready and would be against her own convictions. Something as important as her virginity shouldn’t be reduced to an experience which she feels discomfort, and all this just to satisfy the wishes of the partner, I think this is not right.
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, I think he never really loved her. If he loved her he would never put her under pressure and would have had patience for having given her time to feel sufficiently prepared.
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
Although I believe that friend is not one who says yes to everything you say, but someone who opens our eyes when we need, I believe that what her friend said was insensitive.
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
What she really needs isn’t taking the contraceptive pill or using condom, what she really needs is feel prepared and comfortable with herself and with her partner.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
Maturity to have sex has no predefined age, is something that changes with education, culture and mindset of each one.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
I think both should be responsible, because pregnancy happens not only with the intervention of one, they are both needed. In case of pregnancy none of them are less responsible than the other.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
When sexual activity is responsible, and precautionary measures are taken, the probability of getting pregnant is low, although it isn’t 100% non-existent.
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Sex is not just a way to get pleasure, we can be happy doing other things instead of sex. when two people love each other and feel very closely with one another, sex is a way to feel united and feel the complicity that exists between them.
November 27, 2010
Love, infatuation and physical attraction
I’m reading your comments on “Helena’s testimony” and among many others, a major question arises:
“How can a 16-17 y.o. adolescent know the difference between love, infatuation or physical attraction? Is it easy to distinguish them at this age?
Comments
November 29, 2010
Jorge Rocha
Those are interesting questions! They deserve careful thinking. Firstly, in the meaning we try to understand love in this blogue, that is love envolved in sexual relationship, it's normal that love is associated with physical attraction. If somebody is 16-17 y.o., it's normal to have powerful physical attraction... that's why the situation is problematic. If persons don't have that strong feeling, they could handle the situation in a simple way. But, because the feeling is so strong, it is a problem, because it can drive persons to make stupid choices. That's why it is very important to do sexual education... that's why we are in this project.
November 29, 2010
Maria
Reading your own words, Jorge:
"because the feeling is so strong, it is a problem, because it can drive persons to make stupid choices",
I remembered a student of mine asking me: "Why is it wrong to have sex at our age?". I replied: "I am not saying that is right or wrong. I am asking you instead, Do you feel mature enough to make the right choice of partner? It's not a question of biological maturity but of emotional maturity."
November 29, 2010
Jorge Rocha
Yes, Maria! You are right. I'd like our students entering this discussion. I hope they can do so, even if they have a lot of written tests to prepare in these days.
November 30, 2010
Demosfen
I disagree, people grow psychologically faster than you think, I know it from myself. By the way, in Brasil and in arabe countries (marriage since childhood- maybe at 12-15years) psychological grow
this even more faster that in conservative countries like Portugal.
Maybe we can discuss what does it mean to be "psychologically adult"?
December 1, 2010
Diogo Valério, Inês Pereira, Jessica Gomes, Mariana Freitas
We believe that all teens have a way of think. Everybody thinks that know what love means, but we fall in mistake, cause each one of us has a diferent way of see abstracts things.
''love is a disease where we think see our cure'' We believe that this sentence is the closer definition for love.
our point of view:
some teens aren't mature enougth for love, and they can't distinguish love of infatuation of physical attraction.
Even some of us make of others prizes.
Some realationships can be true, but the others are based in sex, dirty feelings or even just fetiche. we think that is not fair!
About distinguish between men and women:
like girls mature first than boys, we believe that they have an emotional reason more discharged that boys, and feelings are deeper.
December 3, 2010
Jorge Rocha
Hello Demosfen, hello Diogo, Inês, Jéssica and Mariana.
It is a big pleasure to see you in our blogue. I hope you like to discuss this subjects of sexuality in orther to be more reasonable in choices everyone have to do in his life. In fact, I am proud being your teacher - it is very good to see teenagers trying to be more ilustrated day by day. That is it what we can see in your comments.
Demosfen, you are right when you say we should discuss meaning of «psychologilly adult». As you say, it is not the samething in different societies and with different persons. Anyway, in a complex society like ours (you called it «conservative»... maybe we also should discuss it!), teens must be mature enough so that they do not get hurt. What I mean speaking in get hurt is to get emotional disorders that will affect her/his way of feeling in after life.
December 4, 2010
Maria
For Demosfen:
Marriage is a legal way to have sex, acceptable in some societies by very young ages. Do you think that these 12 y.o. girls decide on their own about having sexual life at this age? Because in these cases, we are only talking about girls, that are forced to marry older, much older men.
Maturity has to do with life experiences and responsible behavior. Adolescence is a stage from childhood to adulthood that lacks of experiences. We don't blame adolescents for being immature. It's a natural stage. But in order to protect adolescents from making fatal mistakes, we try to make them think deeply before acting. That's our purpose. Dear Demosfen, I like students that disagree! They give us the chance to discuss issues deeply. Thank you for your contribution. Keep it up! I am waiting for your next disagreement!
December 6, 2010
João Marcelino
Each teenager decide to have a sexual relationship or not and by the maturity and life expericence of each other, by doing diferent steps on their life. If you don't know what to do you better not do anything, because you may do something wrong that could broke your relationship and also can cause bad things in your life.
And that is when it apear the sexual education, to help teenagers what to do in these kinds of situations.
Try searching for a adult, teacher or a especialist to answer those questions, then you will feel your mind much cleaner and released from those problems.
I think that everyone probably thinks that you only should do any progress in any relationship by thinking a lot first and then react and do that step, try to have a «mature mind» before you do it.
December 16, 2010
Ana Marta Carmona and Maryline Matos, 11.º B
In our opinion, a teenager who is 16-17 y.o. can never really tell the diference between love, infatuation and physical attraction. He might not know the difference between love and infatuation especially because they are feelings so deep that no one knows for real their meaning; it can be different from teenager to teenager and even from person to person. he also knows the difference between love and attraction, we mean, sometimes he knows that love is deeper and attraction might be something momentaneous; nevertheless, one attraction can lead to a feeling of love. Not every teenager have the same mentalitie or stand on the same way on life so they interpret the challenges life puts ahead of us differently, that's why the notions of love, infatuation and physical attraction are so mixed in our heads. On this age, it's not easy to tell apart these three concepts because all of them are rooted to one feeling: despite having different meanings, they have that point in common. It's easier to tell them apart with age because we begin to know better the reality of life, realizing the presence of these feelings and and from there starting to know how to separate love from infatuation, love from attraction and infatuation from attraction.
A man and a woman don't think the same way like teenagers in their 16-17 years. Men and women think in a conscient way, they lived already a big part of their life, they have been through for some of the moments teenagers are going for right now. They know how to tell love from infatuation and from physical attraction. Despite people give different meaning to these concepts, love means for every one a feeling of desire, affection; infatuation means a platonic love for someone who might not be given back, is a rush someone feels that moment; and physical attraction is something only physical, a desire purely physical to have the other person, but it can me only sudden, it might only happen during a short period of time. We think this is the meaning these more mature people give to these concepts after living life so fulfilling and passionately.
January 22, 2011
Jorge Rocha
Ana Marta, Maryline and Joao, your words are wise. I hope you to be hapy in your decisions concerning sexual behavior. Having a mature thinking helps, even if it is only part of the question of sexual atitude.
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