Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Human Maturity - to have sex and to have vote: should this 2 subjects be linked?
Some days ago, Demosfen started a discussion about maturity of teens. The question was related with sexual maturity. Now some other students are arguing about political maturity. In this blog concerned with sexual education, I should ask if sexual activity and political activity are 2 parts of the same process of human development and a teen gets prepared to heve sex at the same time she/he is prepared to vote.
Let's read the thinking of José, Carla, Inês M.and Ana Marta about political maturity:
« As requested by our Portuguese teacher, we are here to post regarding the right to vote at the age of 16. Vote at 16, yes or no? (Portugal) According to our laws, we are legally adults at the age of 18. An age that opens the door to the legislative vote, to take the driving license for light vehicles and to be able to work full time. However, we start to have duties with the society earlier, at the age of 16. Until we are 16 years old, our parents or guardians are responsible for our actions, but from there we are seen and treated as young adults by the society, having to obey rules established for those who are considered adults, this is, a person aged 18 years or over. At 16 we can integrate the active society, have our first job, discount for the social security, begin to take the motorcycle driving license, beyond other things. We can also think of marriage and constituting a family and in case we commit a serious crime we will be judged in the eyes of justice as adults and punished as if we were 18 years old. Is it fair that a 16 year old, who is "mature" enough to comply with certain requirements for the society, isn’t treated as an adult, and isn’t given the same rights as adults, particularly with regard to voting mandatory? If between 15/16 years we are "forced " to make choices about our future, namely whether or not we continue our educational background, what area should we follow, what profession/school we should choose... Why don’t they let us also choose the destination of the country?» Ana Marta Carla Teotónio José Freitas Inês Morais
Who agrees with them? What about sex at 16?
It seems to me that, like a lot of you have said in other comments, we cannot fix an age (16 y.o. or other) and say that after that everyone is prepared. It depends on each one's process of growing up and everyone has her/his own rithm. Of course, there are a lot of citizens that are not ready to vote at the age of 18 y.o., but society have to establish a border and it seems to me 18 y.o. is a reasonable one.
Maybe the situation is similar in what concerns to sexual intercourse. However, concerning sex, we are talking about something very intimate. So, I'm not saying that everyone shoud have sexual intercourse at 18 y.o. I'm saying that for those who want to start their sexual relationships, maybe this is a reasonable reference.
Let's read the thinking of José, Carla, Inês M.and Ana Marta about political maturity:
« As requested by our Portuguese teacher, we are here to post regarding the right to vote at the age of 16. Vote at 16, yes or no? (Portugal) According to our laws, we are legally adults at the age of 18. An age that opens the door to the legislative vote, to take the driving license for light vehicles and to be able to work full time. However, we start to have duties with the society earlier, at the age of 16. Until we are 16 years old, our parents or guardians are responsible for our actions, but from there we are seen and treated as young adults by the society, having to obey rules established for those who are considered adults, this is, a person aged 18 years or over. At 16 we can integrate the active society, have our first job, discount for the social security, begin to take the motorcycle driving license, beyond other things. We can also think of marriage and constituting a family and in case we commit a serious crime we will be judged in the eyes of justice as adults and punished as if we were 18 years old. Is it fair that a 16 year old, who is "mature" enough to comply with certain requirements for the society, isn’t treated as an adult, and isn’t given the same rights as adults, particularly with regard to voting mandatory? If between 15/16 years we are "forced " to make choices about our future, namely whether or not we continue our educational background, what area should we follow, what profession/school we should choose... Why don’t they let us also choose the destination of the country?» Ana Marta Carla Teotónio José Freitas Inês Morais
Who agrees with them? What about sex at 16?
It seems to me that, like a lot of you have said in other comments, we cannot fix an age (16 y.o. or other) and say that after that everyone is prepared. It depends on each one's process of growing up and everyone has her/his own rithm. Of course, there are a lot of citizens that are not ready to vote at the age of 18 y.o., but society have to establish a border and it seems to me 18 y.o. is a reasonable one.
Maybe the situation is similar in what concerns to sexual intercourse. However, concerning sex, we are talking about something very intimate. So, I'm not saying that everyone shoud have sexual intercourse at 18 y.o. I'm saying that for those who want to start their sexual relationships, maybe this is a reasonable reference.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Helena's testimony
«Like many others, at the age of 16-17 I used to dream to find a perfect man. One day I knew Sérgio. Everything was marvellous!
Suddenly our relationship became a quiet love relation. We were part of the same class, we saw one each other every day and, at night, we used to spend hours having conversations on the telephone so that we could share last news. In a summary, everything was going fine.
[...]
But, one day, Sérgio wanted me to feel that the «flirt» was not good enough for him anymore. He wanted to go deeper. It was a shock to me. It’s true everyone around us used to do it. But I couldn’t surrender: that was against my convictions, against my family, against so many things I could not forget.
Also I could not decide to give up my love for him. I was afraid. Afraid of loneliness and afraid of being unable to find someone to love me. He didn’t approve my convictions and used to talk about it to other people. I remember one common friend that came to me and she told me: “I think Sérgio has a lot of courage to keep going on with you! You don’t have the right to deny him what he wants! All you need is to take contraceptive pill.”
This situation continued until next Summer. Finally, as if I could not hold up the situation anymore, I decided to finish the relationship. It was not easy. I had moments of loneliness, because I didn’t dare to meet again old friends.
Lately, I found Alexandre, that loves me the way I am. Happily I was loyal to myself
Helena»
• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Suddenly our relationship became a quiet love relation. We were part of the same class, we saw one each other every day and, at night, we used to spend hours having conversations on the telephone so that we could share last news. In a summary, everything was going fine.
[...]
But, one day, Sérgio wanted me to feel that the «flirt» was not good enough for him anymore. He wanted to go deeper. It was a shock to me. It’s true everyone around us used to do it. But I couldn’t surrender: that was against my convictions, against my family, against so many things I could not forget.
Also I could not decide to give up my love for him. I was afraid. Afraid of loneliness and afraid of being unable to find someone to love me. He didn’t approve my convictions and used to talk about it to other people. I remember one common friend that came to me and she told me: “I think Sérgio has a lot of courage to keep going on with you! You don’t have the right to deny him what he wants! All you need is to take contraceptive pill.”
This situation continued until next Summer. Finally, as if I could not hold up the situation anymore, I decided to finish the relationship. It was not easy. I had moments of loneliness, because I didn’t dare to meet again old friends.
Lately, I found Alexandre, that loves me the way I am. Happily I was loyal to myself
Helena»
• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Our new Partner - Secondary School Filipa de Lencastre (Lisbon)
Most students love to attend our school.
Since 1938 teachers, administrators, staff and parents collaborate to provide a good educational experience.
Agrupamento de Escolas D.Filipa de Lencastre is located in the center of Lisbon. There are approximately 100 teachers and 1200 students from elementary to secondary school.
It is a state school supported both by the Ministry of Education of Portugal and the Municipality of Lisbon.
www2.esec-filipa-lencastre.rcts.pt
Teachers
Our teachers are very well prepared and extremely dedicated to the education of their students.
Students
Our students are joyful, friendly and enjoy receiving guests.
They love meeting people from different cultures.
Getting good marks to enter university is one of their goals.
School is their second home!
Our list of FAMOUS STUDENTS is quite impressive:
- Ana Caetano – Pedagogue and daughter of Marcelo Caetano, Prime Minister before 1974;
- Carmen Dolores – actress;
- Maria de Lurdes Pintassilgo – first woman to become Prime Minister in Portugal (1976);
- Maria Barroso – actress, writer, human rights activist, wife to Mário Soares, President of the Repubic;
- Maria José Estanco – first female arquitect in Portugal;
- Manuela Eanes –Wife to General Ramalho Eanes, President of the Republic;
- Natália Correia – Writer.
In 1940 Liceu Nacional D.Filipa de Lencastre was a school for girls only - 924 girls and 80 female teachers!
In 1979 the school name changed to Escola Secundária D.Filipa de Lencastre and by then boys and girls were accepted!
Cultural initiatives
Every school year lectures and different sorts of communications are part of our curricular and /or extra-curricular activities – careers, health issues, going to university are some of the subjects we may be dealing with. Most of the times these experts from the outside world are invited by the students or the teachers participating in the different school projects. We have three main areas of studies – Humanities, Science Studies and Economics.
Students can also participate in the Maths Olympic Games and the Biotechnology Olympic Games.
Sports initiatives
The school volleyball team is part of the national volleyball federation! Our girls are great! During the school year there are many different sportive initiatives.
Some of the boys play rugby or football, but the school has not got its own team!
Filipa de Lencastre team
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Being "psychologically adult" and to be prepared to have sex intercourse
Here we have an interesting dialogue between one of our students and his sister:
«Acentfrio: hi sis)
Acentfrio: listen if you have time you can write me what for you means to be "psychologically adult"
Acentfrio: it is all related to that topic about "the right time for intimacy and sexual relations," that our teacher develops)
Acentfrio: I'll look at what you think about it and compare it to what I have ^ _ ^
Mary V: it mean to answer for your actions, never shift responsibility and the consequences on the others, be able to measure yourself with others - people close to you, to be able to find a way in all kind of different situations
«Acentfrio: psychologically adult can be associated with - ability to life for yourself, self-sufficiency?
Mary V: in general, independence and responsibility is when you are not under the influence of another people, and itself decided
Mary V: Well, old enough perhaps can even be minor (younger that 18), people who still dependent from parents Financial independence is not a criterion for here, while self-sufficient - yes
Mary V: not only "to live by itself, but also live near other people"
Mary V: Teen wants to break away at all costs, to show their independence, to defend his "world", while an adult measure their actions with the people with whom his life is connected.»
This is something I really like to be increased: each one of us involving our friends discussing this subjects. Congratulations for the both of you!
«Acentfrio: hi sis)
Acentfrio: listen if you have time you can write me what for you means to be "psychologically adult"
Acentfrio: it is all related to that topic about "the right time for intimacy and sexual relations," that our teacher develops)
Acentfrio: I'll look at what you think about it and compare it to what I have ^ _ ^
Mary V: it mean to answer for your actions, never shift responsibility and the consequences on the others, be able to measure yourself with others - people close to you, to be able to find a way in all kind of different situations
«Acentfrio: psychologically adult can be associated with - ability to life for yourself, self-sufficiency?
Mary V: in general, independence and responsibility is when you are not under the influence of another people, and itself decided
Mary V: Well, old enough perhaps can even be minor (younger that 18), people who still dependent from parents Financial independence is not a criterion for here, while self-sufficient - yes
Mary V: not only "to live by itself, but also live near other people"
Mary V: Teen wants to break away at all costs, to show their independence, to defend his "world", while an adult measure their actions with the people with whom his life is connected.»
This is something I really like to be increased: each one of us involving our friends discussing this subjects. Congratulations for the both of you!
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Wonderful comments! :)
Have you read the comments in recent posts? You should do it. It is wonderful to realise how clever are our partners in this blog, a lot of them are students and they do so interesting points of view!
To ilustrate what I'm saying, I publish here a comment written by one student of mine... it is evident my proud in my partners! In fact, they inspire and motivate me in such a way that to work here is a pleasure for me.
So, let's see what Inês Vieira thinks, answering the questions about «Helena's Testimony» (bellow):
«• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, I agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio. I think it's necessary respect and patience in a relationship, shouldn’t be made pressures on these matters of personal and intimate nature. And, if her boyfriend couldn’t accept her decision, then it is because he isn’t worth her personal delivery or even her effort.
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
In my opinion I think she would have felt uncomfortable with herself if she had surrendered to her boyfriend claims, because she would be doing something for which she was not yet ready and would be against her own convictions. Something as important as her virginity shouldn’t be reduced to an experience which she feels discomfort, and all this just to satisfy the wishes of the partner, I think this is not right.
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, I think he never really loved her. If he loved her he would never put her under pressure and would have had patience for having given her time to feel sufficiently prepared.
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
Although I believe that friend is not one who says yes to everything you say, but someone who opens our eyes when we need, I believe that what her friend said was insensitive.
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
What she really needs isn’t taking the contraceptive pill or using condom, what she really needs is feel prepared and comfortable with herself and with her partner.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
Maturity to have sex has no predefined age, is something that changes with education, culture and mindset of each one.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
I think both should be responsible, because pregnancy happens not only with the intervention of one, they are both needed. In case of pregnancy none of them are less responsible than the other.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
When sexual activity is responsible, and precautionary measures are taken, the probability of getting pregnant is low, although it isn’t 100% non-existent.
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Sex is not just a way to get pleasure, we can be happy doing other things instead of sex. when two people love each other and feel very closely with one another, sex is a way to feel united and feel the complicity that exists between them.» Inês Andrade Vieira, nº 8, 11º B, From Portugal.
To ilustrate what I'm saying, I publish here a comment written by one student of mine... it is evident my proud in my partners! In fact, they inspire and motivate me in such a way that to work here is a pleasure for me.
So, let's see what Inês Vieira thinks, answering the questions about «Helena's Testimony» (bellow):
«• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, I agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio. I think it's necessary respect and patience in a relationship, shouldn’t be made pressures on these matters of personal and intimate nature. And, if her boyfriend couldn’t accept her decision, then it is because he isn’t worth her personal delivery or even her effort.
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
In my opinion I think she would have felt uncomfortable with herself if she had surrendered to her boyfriend claims, because she would be doing something for which she was not yet ready and would be against her own convictions. Something as important as her virginity shouldn’t be reduced to an experience which she feels discomfort, and all this just to satisfy the wishes of the partner, I think this is not right.
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, I think he never really loved her. If he loved her he would never put her under pressure and would have had patience for having given her time to feel sufficiently prepared.
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
Although I believe that friend is not one who says yes to everything you say, but someone who opens our eyes when we need, I believe that what her friend said was insensitive.
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
What she really needs isn’t taking the contraceptive pill or using condom, what she really needs is feel prepared and comfortable with herself and with her partner.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
Maturity to have sex has no predefined age, is something that changes with education, culture and mindset of each one.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
I think both should be responsible, because pregnancy happens not only with the intervention of one, they are both needed. In case of pregnancy none of them are less responsible than the other.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
When sexual activity is responsible, and precautionary measures are taken, the probability of getting pregnant is low, although it isn’t 100% non-existent.
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Sex is not just a way to get pleasure, we can be happy doing other things instead of sex. when two people love each other and feel very closely with one another, sex is a way to feel united and feel the complicity that exists between them.» Inês Andrade Vieira, nº 8, 11º B, From Portugal.
1st of December
I am late in publishing this post but in Greece people say: Better late than never!
Besides that, a world's day exists to remind us something that we tend to forget the rest of the year. So, it's not a big deal that we missed the day. We keep working on the cause though!
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On December 1st, Despina and I, dedicated one of our teaching hours discussing with our 16 y.o. students about issues referred to our project. We talked about Helena's testimony, about contraception, about attitudes, reaching an audience of 85 students that day.
It's not easy to engage so many students in our blog, so I am posting here on their behalf. Even that way, the aim of our project is highly achieved.
What was obvious during our talking was the different point of views between boys and girls, in the question if a 16 y.o. adolescent is mature enough to have sex. Boys were saying that girls of even younger ages are having sex, so what's the big deal? They tended to deal with the discussion more lightheartedly than girls, giving a sign of immaturity that struck the girls.
My experience through the years that I am dealing with sexual education shows that at the upper secondary education students have a more responsible behavior than in lower secondary education, and that's a fact that highlights the need to address sexual education at younger ages.
I feel that the topics of our project are endless! I will try to keep my posts short though, so that students can follow them easier.
Take care, and remember that knowledge and awareness are the key to a healthy sexual life!
Maria and the Greek team
Besides that, a world's day exists to remind us something that we tend to forget the rest of the year. So, it's not a big deal that we missed the day. We keep working on the cause though!
It's not easy to engage so many students in our blog, so I am posting here on their behalf. Even that way, the aim of our project is highly achieved.
What was obvious during our talking was the different point of views between boys and girls, in the question if a 16 y.o. adolescent is mature enough to have sex. Boys were saying that girls of even younger ages are having sex, so what's the big deal? They tended to deal with the discussion more lightheartedly than girls, giving a sign of immaturity that struck the girls.
My experience through the years that I am dealing with sexual education shows that at the upper secondary education students have a more responsible behavior than in lower secondary education, and that's a fact that highlights the need to address sexual education at younger ages.
I feel that the topics of our project are endless! I will try to keep my posts short though, so that students can follow them easier.
Take care, and remember that knowledge and awareness are the key to a healthy sexual life!
Maria and the Greek team
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