«Like many others, at the age of 16-17 I used to dream to find a perfect man. One day I knew Sérgio. Everything was marvellous!
Suddenly our relationship became a quiet love relation. We were part of the same class, we saw one each other every day and, at night, we used to spend hours having conversations on the telephone so that we could share last news. In a summary, everything was going fine.
[...]
But, one day, Sérgio wanted me to feel that the «flirt» was not good enough for him anymore. He wanted to go deeper. It was a shock to me. It’s true everyone around us used to do it. But I couldn’t surrender: that was against my convictions, against my family, against so many things I could not forget.
Also I could not decide to give up my love for him. I was afraid. Afraid of loneliness and afraid of being unable to find someone to love me. He didn’t approve my convictions and used to talk about it to other people. I remember one common friend that came to me and she told me: “I think Sérgio has a lot of courage to keep going on with you! You don’t have the right to deny him what he wants! All you need is to take contraceptive pill.”
This situation continued until next Summer. Finally, as if I could not hold up the situation anymore, I decided to finish the relationship. It was not easy. I had moments of loneliness, because I didn’t dare to meet again old friends.
Lately, I found Alexandre, that loves me the way I am. Happily I was loyal to myself
Helena»
• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
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51 comments:
IT is very difficult to answer such questions without knowing what kind of relationships they had, how close they were and how did they understand each other.
A guy could not realy love her- wasn't enough patient, or she was just a coward girl.
And indeed I don't like your attitude towards sex as its a sin.
Well if it did not work out - stop the relationships, aren't we living in a new era?
This is all the experience we get living our lifes
How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
and feel like people have experienced the strongest pleasure
And how people are feeling after the most pleasure in the world? - minimum Satisfied ^^
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
well, It depends from their psychological development
If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
Well, only if one of them is very bad in bed.
What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
How it could appeared if the contraceptive were used?? Question is a paradox or I don't understand something??
Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
hello, if contraceptive pills are well taken how can a girl get pregnancy?? Same paradox=)
Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Of course it isn't! the best pleasure in the love is when you have found you second part (Im very romantic, eh...)
Also we have marihuana, LSD (joking^^)
Written by Alex Russkikh 11A from Portugal
I agree because she shouldn't do anything sexually that she doesn't want to or feels unsafe or undecided.
I think that 'friend' wasn't actually a friend because a real friend wouldn't force her to do something she wasn't sure of.
No, because her problem was about wether or not to have a sexual relation. Her problem wasn't about pregnancy.
I don't think they are.
I don't think they should rush into having a sexual relationship just because they feel physical attracted to one another.
They should both take responsibility.
I think it is.
No.
Yes i agree her decision to break up with her boyfriend, because nobody have to say her what she must to do with her life.
She felt compelled, because she didn't fell ready
No, he doesn't love her
I think her friend wasn't like a friend, she must understand her and support her
Yes, i agree with Helena decision because she had all the right to refuse him because her convictions. Because of he didn't wanted to accept her decision, he proved that he never respected her.
If she had surrender to her boyfriend clams, she would felt humiliated and also with a low-self opinion. she would regret a lot "her decision".
I really think that Sergio didn't love her. Even that he didn't cared about her!
I think that her "friend" proved by what she said to her that she wasn't a real good friend. And no, she didn't adviced her well.
No, I don't think that to take contraceptive pill or to use condom was a solution of her problems because her only problem was that Sergio forced her to do a thing that she didn't wanted to do.
I don't think that the age of 16-17 years old is enough to make sex, because it's a fragile age.
It's not enough to only feel phisical attraction but also need to feel more than that. It is possible that one of them to have emotional traumas, especially if she/he is more sensible.
• I agree with Helena's decision.I would do the same thing because Sergio pressured her to begin her sex life.
• She should had felt very alone because he eventually would leave her.
• No,he didn't loved her.
• It's a bad advice.Condom it's the safest mode to have sex.
• She should talk to Sergio about her feelings and if she had to take this step she must use a condom.
• No, at age of 16 or 17 you aren't old enough to have sex.
• Yes,it's possible.Usually girls are the most damaged after a relationship with sexual activity because they feel abandoned and alone.
• Pregnancy at ages so young it's wrong. Once you make this step, both have to assume this responsibility.
• Condoms are the safest.99% safe.So it's possible.
• No.It's a way to bond with your partner and have children.
I agree with Helena`s decision because her relationship it wasn`t strong enough. Her boyfriend doesn`t loved her in the way she loved him. I think that Sergio doesn`t really and truelly loved her. Their common friend was rude, because Helena it wasn`t right with her. Her decision is her decision and nothing and nobody could change it. To take contraceptice pill or to use condom it wasn`t a good solution to Helena`s problems. 16-17 years teenagers aren`t mature enough to have sex. I think that a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex only if they want, or feel to. After they finish their relantionship, is possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas because one of them is possible that still loves his partner.
An aventual pregnacy is good for those who want to have a baby, but is very bad for those who don`t protect them. Responsability it should be taken by both of them, because the two of them have the same blame. Pregnacy is possible even if the contraceptive caution are taken, in case they aren`t taken good. Sex is a way to get pleasure, but not only.
- It is in these years, should have known going in a serious relationship that may arise such problems if they really loved each other and cherish each other could all do without it. I can neither accept nor reject because we do not know any details.
- It depends on how she perceives it. For some people it does fine, for each other ...
- We can not know what feelings he felt for her, its too little information for the analysis of such complex processes like love
- Well, firstly no one who does not have to, as well as other logic can be understood
- If he loved her, they would have been happy together and she really saw that it was only one person then the issue of sex would not have had any problems except for pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases
- Everything depends on the psychological and physical development of person
- Of course it is possible that someone somewhere will remain wound, but it is the result of how you feel about this and in what terms it is worth.
- If they both wanted it, then here in this case are problem of two
-Well, a very small percentage here blame those who buy low-quality product and do not use it as intended
-Well of course it all depends on the person. for loving couples is more than just sex
P.S. I hope there is clearly written on my broken English
By Artem Pyesotskyy, Portugal
i think is a very intresting story and helena make a very good choise when she decide to leave sergio
Hello. I'm Chryssa from Greece and I agree totally with your point of view.A relation that is not on the same terms is not worth continuing it.Every person has the right to choose the time to start his/her sexual life because the first time is very important no mather if the person is a girl or a boy.
Hi Jorge!
Hello to all of you!
Today I had a very interesting discussion on Helena's testimony with a new group of my students. I could write a summary of our conversation but I'm afraid that I will repeat what has already been said by the Portuguese students. It seems that we all agree on the basic question about Helena's decision. Be sure that within the next days we'll have another meeting and we'll submit our thoughts.
It's very interesting to talk on real cases, that bring in mind personal experience and make us reflect on our own decisions.
in my way of thinking, love its not sex so i really agree with helena's choise not only bcause of her selfrespect and also bcause she could have got aids or other sexual disease.
I think sérgio wasnt really in love with her... i think he was only interested to have sex with her.
right now i cant answer to more questions cause i dont have much time but ill do it tomorow
ass: emanuel santos
I'd like to talk about the attitude of Helena's friend. A lot of persons do exactly the same. To have sex as a teenager became an ideological question; people assume that it is something that must take place. Sometimes teenagers try to find a partner just to have sex and to say that they had already that experience! Of course this is a stupid decision, because it is the lost of personality. Having personality means that the girl/boy choses if it is the moment and that is the right partner to be involved in a sexual meaning. Helena's friend adviced her to loose her personality and, like a lot of the comments said, that is not an advice of a friend... or it is an advice of a realy bad friend, an advice of somebody that lives following the rules of the majority, even if majority doen't care about what is right and what is wrong to develop person's self love.
Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, we do agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio. The basis of relationships should be respect and he disrespected her by pressurizing her. If he really loved her he wouldn’t do so and he would attempt to understand her convictions.
How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
We believe that she would feel bad with herself for having done something that she wasn’t prepared for and that went against her own convictions.
Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, if he really loved her he would give her more time and he wouldn’t pressurize her.
What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
Helena’s friend might have attempted to be honest, however she only managed to pressurize her even more. This isn’t something we should do to our friends.
Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
This solution wouldn’t change her opinion, due to the fact that her problem wasn’t only the fear to get pregnant or to catch diseases – but something emotional.
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
That depends from teenager to teenager, from mentality to mentality, seeing that young people from countries and cultures have different educations and different ways of thinking.
Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
Making love is an act that should be practiced with heart and a physical attraction at our age is something that passes very quickly. Girls take this matter a little more seriously than boys and since they aren’t emotionally stable, having sexual relationships would increase the probability of them falling in love.
What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
This is a difficult case. I
f they are both responsible for the consequence, they must both take responsibility. It would be extremely hard because being teenagers they aren’t psychologically stable and economically stable.
Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
Of course, not all contraceptives are 100% safe, and there are few that are, but it also depends on what is used and what is the probability for it to fail.
Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
It's a way to give pleasure, but it isn’t a unique pleasure.
José Freitas, nº 12
Maria Beatriz, nº 15
Mariana Viola, nº 16
Tiago Rosado, nº 25
Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, we do agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio. The basis of relationships should be respect and he disrespected her by pressurizing her. If he really loved her he wouldn’t do so and he would attempt to understand her convictions.
How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
We believe that she would feel bad with herself for having done something that she wasn’t prepared for and that went against her own convictions.
Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, if he really loved her he would give her more time and he wouldn’t pressurize her.
What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
Helena’s friend might have attempted to be honest, however she only managed to pressurize her even more. This isn’t something we should do to our friends.
Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
This solution wouldn’t change her opinion, due to the fact that her problem wasn’t only the fear to get pregnant or to catch diseases – but something emotional.
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
That depends from teenager to teenager, from mentality to mentality, seeing that young people from countries and cultures have different educations and different ways of thinking.
Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
Making love is an act that should be practiced with heart and a physical attraction at our age is something that passes very quickly. Girls take this matter a little more seriously than boys and since they aren’t emotionally stable, having sexual relationships would increase the probability of them falling in love.
What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
This is a difficult case. I
f they are both responsible for the consequence, they must both take responsibility. It would be extremely hard because being teenagers they aren’t psychologically stable and economically stable.
Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
Of course, not all contraceptives are 100% safe, and there are few that are, but it also depends on what is used and what is the probability for it to fail.
Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
It's a way to give pleasure, but it isn’t a unique pleasure.
José Freitas, nº 12
Maria Beatriz, nº 15
Mariana Viola, nº 16
Tiago Rosado, nº 25
Hi! A very good year to you all.
I gave a look to the discussion about Helena's case. There are very interesting questions and opinions,and I agree with the most part of them ...but I think there's still space to discuss some complex essues, not only related with this case, but more general questions you put, ex:
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
The law, in each country, as something to do with the way teenagers and families deal with this essues?
What is the role of friends in our decisions?
I'll try to discuss in small groups and to publish our conclusions ... or doubts.
'See' you soon.
Noémia Santos, Henriques Nogueira, Portugal
Hello Noémia, hello my dear students! It is very good for me to meet you in our blog. I have already said in other comment I am so proud of my students (our students, because they are students of Noémia too)! Your points of view shaw you are not only students wanting to know more and more each new day, but you are algo very good partners... it is always a pleasure not only being at work with you, but, specially, being in life with you. This is not an easy way... you, please, be strong and just keep going straight ahead.
I need to ask you to be more activ doing comments in our blog. In fact, your comments are precious; so, with them, this project improves a lot!
"Making love is an act that should be practiced with heart and a physical attraction at our age is something that passes very quickly. Girls take this matter a little more seriously than boys and since they aren’t emotionally stable, having sexual relationships would increase the probability of them falling in love."
But also there is sex without responsibilities - way to get pleasure
and nothing more. unfortunately this way is growing and growing
• Of course, she doesn't have to go against her convictions just because someone is pushing her.
• I think she may have felt terrible, because the person she used to love was pushing her to do something she didn't wanted to.
• No, he didn't loved her, otherwise, he would have understand why she recused his claims and have respected her.
• I think her friend was totally wrong, she is free and not even a friend has the right to say suchs things.
• No, of course not, even if she took those options, she would be still going against her convictions, not solving the problem.
• No, of course not.
• No, they should wait until they're older. Maybe both would have emotional traumas, not only just one of them, because, at least I think, only after it, they'll understand that they were not prepared and that they should wait and grow a little (both emotional and physically)
• That would be a risc, and both of them should take responsability.
• Yes, sometimes those methods fail.
• No, sex is not the only way of having pleasure. The company and the fellings that we have to other person are more important.
Let's follow the conversation between one of our students and his sister about possible traumas at the end of relationships:
«Acentfrio: then another question: how to get the psychological trauma from the relationships if there was not violence?
Mary V: You can. exist different kind of violence
Mary V: for example, an excessive care and love leave trauma - overwhelming/suppresses, you feel guilty for hurting someone who takes every possible way to show love for you just because she/he likes you like you are (gosta de ti como tu és)
Mary V: for a lot of ways to manipulate. it happens anyway, and often can lead to injury
[22:14:06] Mary V: that is, the desire to influence the partner, change it to remake itself in the details or in a big scale is very common. There are also their own complexes and fears that hinder talk about feelings, to call things by their own words. therefore there are such strange things ...
Mary V: When too much love is shown, and the man says, "I love you, meet my expectations, but in fact he does not love you but loves the person who he thought (analogia com sombras) , or he is just afraid of loneliness, for example.
Mary V: I mean, the manifestation of love and care does not mean love, maybe something else
Mary V: for example, excessive solicitude/care of mother develops a guilt complex in child's, prevents the development of his personality, his mother just did not want him growing up - and this trauma for the child
Acentfrio: I think we always think by itself (somente pensamos em sí)
Mary V: no. if you come with someone in serious relationship, then you are ready to think about two, for two. If you have a child - even more so. if you get married and have a child, but think only of yourself - you're not grown up ...
I think to avoid emotional traumas, we have to be honest with your partner...
Acentfrio: I have not nothing more to say) I hope my discuss with sister will contributes for this theme.
1 Yes, we agree. The pressure on Helena by Sergio's is not healthy in a relationship that is considered serious; it is essential to be in reconciliation, especially on an issue as delicate as this.
2 If Helen was determined not to give in, that is, without doubt it has taken the position, it would feel sorry; this if Helena has a very serious approach and sentimental about. Helen gives reasons in the text that is not ready for it yet, and that is the justification.
3 We think not. If Sergio loves Helena, he had to understand and accept the position taken by Helena.
4 Helena's friends should been more compreensive, and understood her fear. They should supported she in this situation. They didn't prove be good friends.
5 In our opinion it wouldn't be a good solution. Her fear is not getting pregnant or contracting an STDs, but the fear of not being prepared, and it change the good relationship he had with Sergio.
6 This depends on the mindset of each one. We think that since the person feels ready and think that found the right person, is able to have sex.
7 If both want to maintain a relationship after having sex should not be guided by the physical aspect, resulting in a relationship emotionally weak, in our opinion, but it might be exceptions. If someone, after sex, feels emotionally attracted by partner will probably have trouble accepting the end of a relationship. Sex is the act that requires further intimity and trust between two people in a relationship.
8 In the event that pregnancy occurs, both partners must take responsibility.
9 Yes, the contraceptives are fallible. Even using contraceptive methods is never totally free of unwanted pregnancy.
10 In our religion this is completely unacceptable. Sex is, as we all know, the way the human species to reproduce. But sex has more supporters seeking pleasure. Love and pleasure in sex are intertwined, but today we think that sex is mostly done for pleasure.
Gonçalo Brás Gomes e Emanuel Antunes, 11ºA
Yes, I agree cuz he was taking advantage of her and he doesn´t love her.
16-17 teenagers are mature enough I think but it's a hard age and our head is in a "washing Machine"
The responsability of the pregnance should be taken by both.
Sex is a way of reprodution.
Nº25 10B ESHN
• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, I agree with Helena's decision. If her boyfriend doesn't respect her, it's a waste of time
be with him. The relashionship doesn't make any sence because he can't accept her opinions.
•How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
If she had surrender to her boyfriend claims she would feel very bad because she was going against her believes and this kind of things must be done without pressure.
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, he doesn't love her because if he did, he would never put pressure on her to do something that she was not sure.
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
I think that the person who talk to Helena wasn't a true friend because true friends helps us and support us, no matter what. And this person just make her feel worse in my opinion.
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
No. Helena's problem was that she was not prepared to have sex. So the contraceptive wouln't help in her case.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
That depends because we don't grow up all at the same time.
But maybe with this age teenagers are not conscious about all the consequences and all the meaning of sex. It's not only a way to have fun, it's an important thing.
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
I think that to have sex, the physical atraction is important, but the feeling is more importante. About the traumas I think that both can have it because after they feel frustrated
e used.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
If they don't use contraceptives an eventual pregnancy is possible and both should take the responsibility.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
That depends of the kind of contraceptive that are used. There is no a contraceptive that protects 100%.
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
No it is important to the reproduction and it's healthy.
There are many questions and some of them very difficult to answer because they have many views and interpretations different because the moral values of each vary according to the site where they are raised and with whom they are created.
• I think Helen has done well to leave Sergio because nobody should have to do any kind of things in a relationship between two people.
• I think she felt a sense of obligation to do something they wanted because he was subject to what her boyfriend was necessary.
• I think not because if Sean likes of Helena is not even required it to anything.
• I think the advice of a friend of Helena was not very good because who out of this problem has another vision which sometimes is not the best.
• I guess not because here the problem is not only if she gets pregnant or catches a disease the main problem here is that Helen did not feel well if forced to have sex with her boyfriend.
• If you feel good about themselves I guess.
• Yes No links have been made voluntarily by both parties.
• I think sometimes it's something that happens even if people have been careful but in any case both must take responsibility for the child.
• Yes, because sometimes the contraceptive methods are faulty.
• Yes
Ass: João Marçal
Yes, I agree with the decision of Helen because she was not prepared to take a step forward in the relationship between her and Sergio, but he did not understand her side and not respected.
If she did what her boyfriend wanted maybe he would not feel good about herself because it was something that went against her convictions.
I think Sérgio really did not love Helena.
The friend who told Helena, it was a true friend should at least try to understand her and help her and tell her not to do something that did not want to do, proved to be her friend.
I think the contraceptive pill or using condoms was not a good solution to the problem of Helena, in my opinion if the problem of Helena was not possible pregnancy or disease transmission, but she was not psychologically prepared to have relationships.
To have sex does not depend on their age, but whether they are prepared to take, so there is no specific age, it depends on each person, can not be too young, because they do not know what it's like.
This depends on the relationship we have, because if they had an attraction but do not know I think neither side will be left with injuries, but if any of the partners really like each other, be more sensitive, it may be with trauma.
If there is an eventual pregnancy was because they had not used contraception, and there would be the fault of both, because both do not yet use of contraceptives.
I think that a pregnancy can occur even when using contraception, because they may fail.
Sex in itself just do not think so, I think it depends on who has feelings for another person there.
Mariana nº20 10ºB, Henriques Nogueira School, Portugal
I agree with the decision of Helena to end the relationship with Sergio because I think Sergio was being wrong wanting to force Helena to give a step forward in the relationship, a step that Helena did not want to, and did not accept his reasons . If she had surrendered to the will of her boyfriend I think she would have felt compelled to do something she did not want, or she would feel blackmailed because she was making something she did not want and had no desire to do. In my opinion Sergio really did not love Helena, because who loves respects the decisions of the loved person, and Sergio did not respect the decisions of Helena.
I think that what the friend of Helena said is totally wrong, because nobody should be forced to do something against his/her will. I think any contraceptive method was not a solution to the problems of Helena; hers problem was she was not ready to have sex and it was not using contraceptive methods that would solve that problem; only giving her time needed was a good solution. I think there is no right age to have sex, of course I also think it should not be too early - for example at 13 or 14 years - but having sex at 16 or 17 years old only depends on the mentality maturity of the person. I do not know if when a boy and a girl feel physically attracted to have sex they should do so, because I never was in that situation. If a pregnancy happens because of sexual intercourse, it is obvious that it was not good to be a father or a mother at that age, but I think this pregnancy is responsibility of the both of them. I think that a pregnancy may be possible even if cautions with contraceptive methods are taken, because the condom may be ruptured or the pill is not 100 per cent reliable. I think sex is not the only way to be happy; I think a good relationship with the person we love, also can give us pleasure.
Student from 10ºC in Henriques Nogueira School
Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, because if her boyfriend was able to impose such a thing, so do not truly love her, and that alone is already substantial reason to end a relationship.
How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
Probably would feel guilty for not being to follow his principles. Later could also feel sad for having wasted with him what could be a very special moment in her life.
Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, to love is necessary respect, and Sergio did not respect helen.
What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
I think that was wrong, and even from their perspective was correct, did not have the right to judge for being too personal a decision for their opinion or idea formed were worth something.
Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
No. What is at stake here is not only Helena will get pregnant or not but whether or not she wants to have sex with her boyfriend, and that not be solved with contraception.
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
I think there is a right age for it. Each person has their own pace. However, most young people this age do not have the maturity to know if love is to live that are strong and true enough.
Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
No, I think to have sex with someone not just physical attraction, but also love, respect, etc.. And yes, it has been forced (a) to do so.
What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
It was a risk they would run forever if they choose to have sex. And it would be the responsibility of the two. Because despite Sergio have limited a choice, there WAS a choice, and Helena could have chosen not to do so.
Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
Yes, because, although relatively safe, contraceptives are not 100%
Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
No, it is also a proof of love.
Alice Martins, 10ºC, Henriques Nogueira School, Portugal
I think that Sérgio really didn't love Helena, because if he loved her, he didn't pressed her for have sexual relations. If he loved her, he would have understood her position. He isn't a good boyfriend, and in my opinion, Helena took the best decision. In her place, I have done the same. And I think that her friend, isn't a good friend, because she should have helped her and that was not what she did; that friend drived Helena to get worse.
Cátia, 10ºC, Henriques Nogueira School, Portugal
This testimony is very interesting, because it addresses something real, which often happens in relationships of teenagers. I agree with the decision of Helena, although it has felt very sad to end his relationship with her boyfriend, was the correct one, since she does not feel ready for that step. I think the suggestion of his friend wrong, because although it was his opinion and Sergio had a good personality, not to say that this view was the right one and that should do Helena, and I think using a contraceptive not help possible to regret that later feel Helena that could even have resulted in pregnancy, and consequently, an emotional trauma for having done what she did not want to do. And that the most important is not the sexual relationship, but the love.
For it all I think the decision of Helena was the best.
Catarina Bernardino nº6 10ºC, Henriques Nogueira School, Portugal
In my opinion I think that Helen was right to end her relationship with Sergio because if she was not prepared to have sex did not have to do so because her boyfriend wanted it. Sergio's attitude showed that he was not really in love with Helena.
What the friend told them I think is not correct because the problems are not solved that way.
I do not think the age to have sexual intercourse should happen at any specific age; it should happen when the lovers are prepared. Also the possibility of pregnancy should be the responsibility of the two.
Rodolfo, 10ºC, Henriques Nogueira School, Portugal
I agree with Helena’s decision, because we all have the right to have our beliefs.
If Sergio really liked her, he would wait for the right moment.
If she had given up to the pressure of Sergio, could be sorry, because it was not her decision, it would be the pressure from her boyfriend.
I think Sergio didn’t really like her, because if he liked her, he didn’t pressure her.
I think that her friend had no right to pressure her, because it was a decision that no one else could take for her.
The fact that Helen takes the contraceptive pill or the condom didn’t solve the doubts she had.
Teenagers of 16-17 years old are not mature enough to have sex; they still don’t quite know what they want from life.
I don’t think right a boy and a girl having sex just because they feel a physical attraction. When this happens it’s possible that the girl stay with emotional trauma, she can feel used.
In relation to pregnancy, I think that two teenagers aren’t mature enough to be parents, if it happens both are responsible.
You can have an unwanted pregnancy even with contraceptives, although it is very unlikely.
It wasn’t just the sex that gives pleasure; there are other things that also can give us pleasure.
Andreia Santos, 10ºC,
Henriques Nogueira School, Portugal
i think that in this case Helena made a good decision because Sergio don´t love her and he just wanted her to have sexual relations with her.
i think her friend was well done when told her, because is what friends does, help in this ocassion.
In my oppinion, teenagers of 16-17 years old aren´t mature enough to have sex, ann i think that a boy and a girl feel physical attraction not sould have sex because first have know better themselves.
in eventual pregnancy, who sould take responsibility is the girl and the boy.
yes, is possible. But in a reduced percentage
No, it isn´t. There are many ways to get pleasure only.
I agree with the decision of Helena have ended her relationship with Sérgio, because he did not show any feelings for her nurturing. Through their actions seemed to say that he just wanted a moment of pleasure for her that everything went well again.
I think if she had done what he had requested, she had not been all happy because it would have done something that is not wanted and that was against his principles.
Maybe Sérgio thought he loved her and felt nothing, or perhaps not even love her, but I think for two people flirt there must be some feeling between them. Nowadays it is a little different, people just dating for dating, just to show that supposedly there is someone who likes both of them wants to be always around.
I think what the friend said Helena is a complete nonsense! A person who, like Helen, demonstrates the principles of life firmly in my opinion, should not do things just to please others. Therefore, in my opinion, I think Helen very well not have listened to his friend.
No. There was nothing good to take precautions to Helena on one thing she did not want to do. If she did not want to have sex with her boyfriend, and was not ready, he just had to accept. If Sérgio really liked her, respected her opinion and was not upset.
Sometimes not. There are always exceptions, but most teens that age (and even younger) only think about themselves and the pleasure that says that sex provides. Do not think if your partner / boyfriend is the same view, do not think to use caution, do not mind if your partner know from somewhere. Sometimes repent: unexpected pregnancies appear mysterious diseases, whose names can’t even pronounce (sometimes even the name of the disease, nor the name of the partner with which it had relations).
I don’t think two people should have sex just because they feel a physical attraction. In my opinion the sex, not to hurt anyone, only two choices: either there is a lot of love behind the physical relationship or is merely an encounter between two strangers (even if they may know but not really). And among the people about 16 years is important to maintain a relationship to feel 'good' for having someone like them, I think that having sex just because their partner wants, it's bad, at least for the person who is' compelled '. It is quite possible that with the end of the relationship, one party to stay with some sort of emotional trauma, especially if you have done something that did not, some time before, for the supposed good of the relationship. The relationship ended in the same, even if that person has done to what was going against their principles, will soon become traumatized because they ended up not doing what would be more correct for your wellness.
When there is a pregnancy at this age, it's bad, especially for the girl. Student life is completely undone. If a family with few possessions, monetary also the father of the child ended up getting worse, assume responsibilities, it will have to go to work in order to sustain what it has created. In my opinion, both parties must assume responsibility. The fault is not only just one or the other. If they were both involved in the sexual act, then both should take it.
Of course it is. Contraceptives are not 100% effective. Fail in a small percentage of the time is right, but fail.
I think that to have pleasure in sex it takes both people wanting to do it and have the notion of 'weight' which entails doing it. If anyone thinks that will get much pleasure from sex if they do not want to do, this person is wrong because sex is not a mechanical process is physical, yes, but also has its emotional part.
• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, I do, Sérgio was very disrespectful, he treated her like an object, when he wanted just a flirt, he had it, when he wanted more, i thinks he should have it, but she said "no". That's not how it works, people don´t just demand what they want, there has to be consonance in both sides (in both Sergio and Helena's).
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
She would of felt very badly, she would of done something she didn't want. Her feeling of Guit would be enormous because she had betrayed herself.
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
In my opinion he did not love her,he simpy thought of her like an object of pleasure.
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
What she said was really messed up, it was wrong in so many ways, sergio did not had the right to anything, and helena certanly had the right to say "NO", and second all that it took wasn't just a pill, sex isn't just something frivolous and purely fisical, it's about love and trust, things that sergio did not have with helena.
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
Like I said before, it isn't only about the fact of getting pregnant it's about trust and love.
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
Age is not the most important in the decision of having sex or not, it's about maturity, intellectual maturity. But let's not jump to a conclusions, it's not right to a kid with 10, 11 or even 12 to be having sex, maturity is normally gained with age, and at that age it's not very common to be both physically and psychologically ready to have sexual relations.
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
I don't think that people with only a physical attraction should have sex dispite it happens very frequently, It's possible for one of them or even both to be psychologically injuried after it, it's a very intense moment and most people should see it has something very natural but only with loved ones.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
It wold be awful, the person to blame is not only Sergio but mostly Helen, she had made a bad step, and dispite it was influenced by Sergio she did what she wanted to do.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
It's very unlikelly but in most cases teenagers don't use them, and use some odd methods, that hardly ever work.
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Sex isn't only about pleasure, it's about trusting your partner and showing their love.
Maria Pio, 10ºC Henriques Nogueira
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
I don't think that people with only a physical attraction should have sex dispite it happens very frequently, It's possible for one of them or even both to be psychologically injuried after it, it's a very intense moment and most people should see it has something very natural but only with loved ones.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
It wold be awful, the person to blame is not only Sergio but mostly Helen, she had made a bad step, and dispite it was influenced by Sergio she did what she wanted to do.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
It's very unlikelly but in most cases teenagers don't use them, and use some odd methods, that hardly ever work.
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
Sex isn't only about pleasure, it's about trusting your partner and showing their love.
Maria Pio, 10ºC Henriques Nogueira
• Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, I agree with her decision to finish the relationship because, she doesn't have to do everything that he wants. If he wants to go deeper and she doesn't, they just don't go.
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
She wouldn't feel okay, and she would keep thinking about it all the time, because it was against her thoughts.
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
I don't think so, if he did, he would respect her desicion about not going deeper.
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
It's really stupid, Sérgio shouldn't have told his friends their relationship stuff, and helena's friend was giving power to Sérgio and it shouldn't be like that.
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
Of course not, because she didn't want to do it, and it's not because of a chance of getting pregnant, but yes because it's against her toughts and against her family.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
I'm not going to say yes or not, it depends on their opinion. Some people may be mature enough, and some people aren't mature yet.
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
Well... I don't see a problem in that. If both wants to, just do it. As well, in a sciences point of view, sex is supposed to be to reproduce, so I don't think thats a problem. I don't think its possible to get traumas, because both of them only had sex because they wanted to.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
That just means they didn't use condoms or something to prevent it. It's both responsibility if it was about condoms, or girls responsibility if she didn't use pills.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
Yes there is always a chance to get pregnant, but its really hard to.
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only? Not really, there is lot's of stuff that they can do to have pleasure, doing stuff together, etc.
André Silva , 10ºB, 16-12-2010
15 Year Old
1-Yes, i agree with Helena´s decision because the main ideas of Sérgio were not the most accurate.
2-She would be weak to the point of leaving her boyfriend take the winner will and leave it below.
3-If he really loved her he won´t do what he did.
4-Helana´s friend advice was wrong.Maybe helena´s friend went through the same situation and did what she herself said.
5-Is not a matter of contraception but of conscience, whether or not to have sex.
6-There is no perfect age to have sex but when both people really want it.
7-After two people having sex just for physical attractiveness is possible that one in future be psychologically scarred.
8-Is a risk that the two run if they have chosen to have sex. if there was an unexpected pregnancy would be the fault of the two and the two would have the responsibility of this.
9-Contraceptive methods are not 100% effective and there is the risk of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, etc.
10-sex is not just a way of obtaining pleasure, but a contact between two people who really love each other.
Bruno Camacho, 10ºC
I agree with Helena's decision, because she doesn't have to agree with everything that her boyfriend wants.
She would feel really bad, because she didn't want to do it.
I don't think Sérgio really loved her, if he did, we would wait till she gets ready.
The using of condoms or taking pills wouldn't be a solution for her. She just didn't want to have sex, not because of condoms or pills, but because of her thoughts and family.
Depends, some teens at that age may be mature enough, other ones aren't.
Well, I am not against that, if both wants to. Aswell we are supposed to have sex to reproduce, but we use it as a way of pleasure. Theres no chance of traumas in my opinion, because both wanted to do sex.
Pregnancy may be both fault, or just a fault of the girl. If they didn't use a condom, the responsability goes to both. If the girl didn't take pills, her responsability.
There is always a chance to get pregnant, but that chance is really, really, really, really low.
Sex isn't the only way to get pleasure, but is the most used to.
André Silva 10ºB
Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
I agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sergio, because it´s clear that he just want her for have some sex and this is unforgivable.
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
If she was surrender to her boyfriend claims she could be traumatized, because she would do something that went against their moral principles, which discomfort her.
• Do you think Sergio really loved Helena?
In our opinion he didn´t really love her. If he really loved her, he would wait for the moment that she would be prepared to give such a big step. The most of the girls want to have a perfect first-time with a perfect guy, and she needs to be shore that he is the One, and if Sergio didn´t get it, we think he didn´t loved her enough to give such a big step like this one.
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
I think that the girl who said that is wasn´t friend enough of Helena. Helena’s ‘’friend’’ even think about Helena our Helena principles. She was really selfish.
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
Contraceptive pill isn´t a solution for Helena, because her problem is a moral one.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
I think that they are really immature to give such a big step, because in this age the teenagers follow the hormones. They think that love is not necessary to take the virginity of a girl.
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
No they don´t, because they have to met which other first before having such a intimate moment.
After they finish love relationship the girl, more easily, can get some traumas because she is more sensitive with that think. With that moment she can think that the boy really likes her, but for the most of the boys it was just one more desire fulfilled.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
When a girl get pregnant, the “booth are pregnant”, I want to say that the responsibility is of booth. We all know that a baby can´t make himself.
When somebody have sex without condoms and contraceptive pills they know what consequences can happen, therefore I think if they know make sex they know how to be parents.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
It´s possible because any contraceptive is 100% secure. If a girl forget to take her contraceptive pill daily or the boy, unintentionally, rips the condom it´s probable that happens a pregnancy.
Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
No it isn´t, but is one of them.
Eda Garcês, n7 e Vera Neves ,n 24 11A
I realized working with my mother.We discuss our views and I think it was quite productive.
1 question: My mother says she did well because she was not ready and she had to think first because it was a wish that he had to depend on two. And I agree with the opinion of my mother.
2 question: My mother thinks that if she had relations with the boy without being prepared after that Helen would feel lonely and helpless.I think that's true to a certain point of view but also a bit exaggerated.
3 question: In this issue we agree, Sergio did not respect the relationship nor the decisions of Helena.
4 question: There weren't good friends because they wanted to influence it in its decision without worrying about her beliefs.The two agree.
5 question: No, because that was not her problem. His real problem was that would betray their convictions.I agree with my mother in this response.
6 question: In this issue we discuss, but we had an equal conclusion. Maturity is not age, is the person who builds it.
7 question: My mother says: no, because that's what distinguishes us from animals. The sex has to be linked to feelings and not with the physical part. Maybe because they do not build self-esteem just by running out of it. I say: Yes, sex can be connected to just the physical part as it happens a lot nowadays. the person may not leave or trauma, it depends on the way to be and the way they approach life.
8 question: I agree that my mother will be the responsibility of the two. But then my mother says it is not desired is not welcome, and I do not think the same way I think it will always be welcome but could have been avoided.Then returned to agree that the world will give a 360 degree turn.
9 question: depends on the manner of use of contraceptives.
10 question: do not understand very well this last question, but say that being is a component of pleasure.
performed by: Inês Pereira 10ºB and mother (Maria Pereira)
1 question: I think Helena made a good desicion because Sergio just wanted to have sex with her. When two people have sex for the first time both of them must agree on it.
2 question: She would have felt terrible, because she had sex for the first time, when she was not ready for it.
3 question: I think Sergio dind't love Helena, because if i did so, he would have waited until she was ready.
4 question: What Helena's friend told to her, just shows who are our real friends. If her friend was really her FRIEND he would support her and help her through her most difficult momments which didn't happen here.
5 question: Taking the contraceptive pill or using condom would only prevent pregnancy. In this case we're talking about Helena's feelings.
6 question:I think not because the 16-17 age is the age where teenagers are a bit more crazy. The first time we have sex has to be with a person we love.
7 question: I think that we have to feel not only physical attraction but most important we have to feel emotional attraction. We need to bond with the other person, create a relationship like i said in the question before.
8 question: An eventual pregnancy in the age of 16-17 means the abandonment of school by both boy and girl. The girl, because she needds to take care of the baby, the boy, because he needs to start working so he can maintain the family.
9 question: Yes. The contraceptive mettods are not 100% effectives.
10 question: No. Sex is the way man and woman show how they love each other. Sex is for reproduction and maintenance of the human specie.
Bruno Gomes nº7 10ºB Henriques Nogueira
Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, I think that she did the best choice, because isn’t good to anyone have a relationship with someone that can’t accept us by the way we are.
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
If Helena had surrender to her boyfriend claims would feel many regrets and would think that her decisions was wrong because it’s a decisions for live and to take it she would give up of some thinks that she believe in.
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, I don’t think so.
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
I think that her friend have said a perfectly foolishness because the decisions that Helena needs to take is something very personal, that everyone had to take by himself.
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
No, I think that the only solution to Helena’s problems was her boyfriend try to listen her, to understand her, and to respect her choice, the decision that Helena had to take is something that needs to be very well thinked.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
It depends on and changes from person to person, a teen of 16-17 years old well informed and shore of himself have the mature to take one so important decision, but there’s other cases where teens aren’t ready to take that decision.
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
I think that everyone have to take there’s own decision in the question of sex, but usually girls have more probability of stay with emotional traumas because when a girl loses her virginity, her body changes and she will never can tell to anyone that stays virgin because exists physical evidences of the oppose, with a man that don’s happens.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
If a pregnancy happens, them both, girl and boy, should take there’s responsibility’s and try to be adults and find the better way to raise that child.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
When the contraceptive cautions are taken, the possibility oh pregnancy is very very low, but the exceptions happens and for example a condom can broke.
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
No, sex is something natural that can be used to get pleasure, to have a pregnancy, to make a relationship be more strong, to unify at the limit a couple and other things.
2- I think later, if they eventually end the relationship, she could come to feel sorry and anguished with the choice taken and for the fact that she wasn’t ready to have sex, and the only reason she was doing it, was to keep the relationship with Sergio.
Otherwise, if the sexual act would strengthen the relation with Sergio she would have fell more secure in the relation and with her boyfriend.
3- At the beginning I thought he loved her, so he wanted to strengthen the relation. But, after Helena’s indecisions due to her values, I don’t thought it was correct( it would only show his interest in the sexual act), using the subject that was concerned to them as theme of discussion. That’s why I think Sergio didn’t really loved Helena.
4- Being this a subject that was only concerned to them, her friend had no right to giver his/her opinion about it. In fact, what he said about Helena’s decision of denying what Sergio wanted is completely absurd, because the sexual act involves both of the partners. When it refers to the taking of the contraceptive pill as a solution for doing the sexual act( implying that the only problem would be an unwanted pregnancy), only shows that Sergio is a friend that devalues the feelings of Helena, worrying only about the physical act.
5- Like I said in the question before, I think there is a lot more in cause than an unwanted pregnancy or a possible transmission of diseases. There are feelings, values and principles involved to.
6- It will depend from person to person, since maturity is acquired with the living experiences and not with the person’s age.
7- If both agree to do it,I don’t see what’s the problem in doing it. It could eventually occur emotional traumas, mostly by girls, because girls have tendency to believe that giving themselves to the boy, they’re starting something serious, which normally don’t happens with boys.
8- First, I think it’s immature don’t using protection ( especially being based on a physical attraction). But if that happens, the responsibility would be from both of them, so as the decision of having the baby or not.
9- Of course yes.
10- No, no at all.
Lidia Abrantes and older sister
Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?
Yes, I think that she did the best choice, because isn’t good to anyone have a relationship with someone that can’t accept us by the way we are.
• How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?
If Helena had surrender to her boyfriend claims would feel many regrets and would think that her decisions was wrong because it’s a decisions for live and to take it she would give up of some thinks that she believe in.
• Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?
No, I don’t think so.
• What do you think about what Helena’s friend told her?
I think that her friend have said a perfectly foolishness because the decisions that Helena needs to take is something very personal, that everyone had to take by himself.
• Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?
No, I think that the only solution to Helena’s problems was her boyfriend try to listen her, to understand her, and to respect her choice, the decision that Helena had to take is something that needs to be very well thinked.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
It depends on and changes from person to person, a teen of 16-17 years old well informed and shore of himself have the mature to take one so important decision, but there’s other cases where teens aren’t ready to take that decision.
• Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?
I think that everyone have to take there’s own decision in the question of sex, but usually girls have more probability of stay with emotional traumas because when a girl loses her virginity, her body changes and she will never can tell to anyone that stays virgin because exists physical evidences of the oppose, with a man that don’s happens.
• What to think about an eventual pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
If a pregnancy happens, them both, girl and boy, should take there’s responsibility’s and try to be adults and find the better way to raise that child.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
When the contraceptive cautions are taken, the possibility oh pregnancy is very very low, but the exceptions happens and for example a condom can broke.
• Is sex a way to get pleasure only?
No, sex is something natural that can be used to get pleasure, to have a pregnancy, to make a relationship be more strong, to unify at the limit a couple and other things.
Comment by F. and a friend (10ºB; Henriques Nogueira Scool)
Here are one of my students' answers. It's interesting to see some male teenagers' point of views. What stoke me while reading his text was that he was misinformed that a contraceptive pill can protect from sexually transmitted diseases. I am publishing part of his reply and I keep his anonymity.
About the boy with name Sergio, his sexuality is too much bold for his age. The boy’s mind is to have sexual contact within the girl, but without ’’love contact’’. Perhaps they’re in love and Sergio wants to have sex contact, and I think he’s hurrying up with that. Helena was scared, she’s was afraid. Unfortunately, Sergio was "pushing" Helena to have sex. If he had a good communication with her, in the end when they would both want it, then they could have sex contact.
Do you agree with Helena’s decision to finish her relationship with Sérgio? Why?: Yeah, I could agree with Helena’s decision, because she did the right step to break out with Sergio to save herself. No, I don’t think that Sergio is a ’’bad’’ boy. So, what can we do? We, the boys, are more sexual than the girls (:?) If she went on her relationship with him for even one more month, she would have tasted the sexual part of life. And who knows, if Sergio was transmitting any dangerous sexual virus, maybe she would have gone ill herself, who knows? Everything is gonna be real in this stupid grey life [...]
How do you think she should had felt if she had surrender to her boyfriend claims? Why?: Hmm… Oh, too awful, and then she would have certainly broken up with him.
Do you think Sérgio really loved Helena?: I am afraid to say it but…NO! Because usually the boys don’t like the love inspirations, the illusion feelings and blah, blah, blah… Sergio and many other boys are thinking the theme about sex. ONLY about sexuality, nothing else (Oh my God, is that real...) the boys are grooving up too fast, girls too, but that’s the real true life of the teenagers.(I am one of them)
Do you think that to take contraceptive pill, or to use condom, was a good solution to Helena’s problems?: Yeah, maybe, if Helena had used contraceptive pill or Sergio used a condom to save themselves. Then Helena could be safe and Sergio would be comfortable himself. Maybe it would have been a solution for some of the problems.
Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?: Hmm…to start having a safe sex? Umm… no! But it will be a good age to start the sexual education.
Do you think a boy and a girl that feel physical attraction should have sex? If after that they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional traumas? Who? Why?: So, yes, I think that a boy and a girl could feel physical attraction and should have sexual love relationship and of course it is possible that one of them stays within emotional traumas.
Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?: Yes, of course there is possibility. It is logical. If only Helena had use a contraceptive pill or Sergio had used a condom or better of all, they had used both, then they would have been healthy and excited to continue their relationship.
Is sex a way to get pleasure only?: Only for pleasure? I don’t think so…
(16 y.o. boy from Ierapetra)
Ana Margarida Botelho (10ºC, Henriques Nogueira School), concerning «Helena's testimony», said:
Do you agree with the decision to Helena to end their relationship with Sergio? Why?
Yes, I agree with the decision of Helena. Because Sergio did not respect her. Their relationship makes no sense because he did not accept the views of Helena.
• How do you think she must have felt if she had to surrender credits her boyfriend? Why?
If she had to surrender to her boyfriend, she would suffer much, because it would go against their will. For me, this kind of things are to be made with the intention of two people who have a relationship and should not be pressured.
• Do you think that Sergio really loved Helena?
I do not think he loved her. Because if not crush, Sergio never pressured to do what she was not sure.
• What do you think about Helena's friend told you?
I think the "friend" Helen was not really a true friend, because friends help us and give us the strength to face these situations. And it was not what he did. It made her feel much worse with this situation.
• Do you think that taking the contraceptive pill, or condom use was a good solution to the problems of Helena?
In this case it does not help because her problem was she was not prepared to have sex.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
A lot depends on each person because some grew more rapidly and some take longer. Today, many teens have sex for fun / pleasure and do not remember anyone that can hurt and even cause serious illnesses such as AIDS case.
But on other hand, there are young people who know what they do and use contraceptives ...
In my opinion this is not a good age to do so, unless we are talking of people who have an understanding of what they are doing at that moment.
• Do you think a boy and a girl who feel physical attraction should have sex? After they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional trauma? Who? Why?
In my opinion, to have sex physical attraction is important, but most important of all is well acquainted with the person you're naked to get involved and know what she wants in reality. In what concerns to trauma, I think I know the person affected is the person / s that has a deeper feeling in the relation.
• What do you think about a possible pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
A possible pregnancy is a very important step in people's life that must be taken with real awareness. And both sexes have to take responsibility.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
Yes, because there is evidence that contraceptive methods are not 100% reliable.
• Sex is a unique way to get pleasure?
Yes, it is a way for people to reach pleasure.
Ana Margarida Botelho (10ºC, Henriques Nogueira School), concerning «Helena's testimony», said:
Do you agree with the decision to Helena to end their relationship with Sergio? Why?
Yes, I agree with the decision of Helena. Because Sergio did not respect her. Their relationship makes no sense because he did not accept the views of Helena.
• How do you think she must have felt if she had to surrender credits her boyfriend? Why?
If she had to surrender to her boyfriend, she would suffer much, because it would go against their will. For me, this kind of things are to be made with the intention of two people who have a relationship and should not be pressured.
• Do you think that Sergio really loved Helena?
I do not think he loved her. Because if not crush, Sergio never pressured to do what she was not sure.
• What do you think about Helena's friend told you?
I think the "friend" Helen was not really a true friend, because friends help us and give us the strength to face these situations. And it was not what he did. It made her feel much worse with this situation.
• Do you think that taking the contraceptive pill, or condom use was a good solution to the problems of Helena?
In this case it does not help because her problem was she was not prepared to have sex.
• Are teenagers of 16-17 years old mature enough to have sex?
A lot depends on each person because some grew more rapidly and some take longer. Today, many teens have sex for fun / pleasure and do not remember anyone that can hurt and even cause serious illnesses such as AIDS case.
But on other hand, there are young people who know what they do and use contraceptives ...
In my opinion this is not a good age to do so, unless we are talking of people who have an understanding of what they are doing at that moment.
• Do you think a boy and a girl who feel physical attraction should have sex? After they finish love relationship, is it possible one of them to stay with emotional trauma? Who? Why?
In my opinion, to have sex physical attraction is important, but most important of all is well acquainted with the person you're naked to get involved and know what she wants in reality. In what concerns to trauma, I think I know the person affected is the person / s that has a deeper feeling in the relation.
• What do you think about a possible pregnancy? Who should take responsibility?
A possible pregnancy is a very important step in people's life that must be taken with real awareness. And both sexes have to take responsibility.
• Is a pregnancy possible, even if contraceptive cautions are taken?
Yes, because there is evidence that contraceptive methods are not 100% reliable.
• Sex is a unique way to get pleasure?
Yes, it is a way for people to reach pleasure.
I’ve really liked this post and how everyone cares for expressing his opinion. I point out the different opinions about some aspects, funny how people have such different views on the same subject. Just see the number of different answers regarding the question of sex being a way to get pleasure. From “Sex is a way of reproduction” to “Of course it is” we’ve seen it all…
But I wonder why in Helena’s testimony there wasn’t a question about AIDS our other sexual diseases. Pregnancy and emotional trauma it’s obviously some of the possible bad consequences of a sexual relation (by the way, that is not true just for teens, at 30’s or 40’s it’s just the same, but we shouldn’t forget it has also good consequences), but sexual diseases are far worse than that.
I remember Helena didn’t mention if Sergio already have had sexual relations with others, and that friend of theirs only talked about contraceptive pill. If we consider the hypotheses of pregnancy by failure of contraceptive precautions, why don’t we think of the possibility of getting, for instance, AIDS?
Yes I think it was great reason, because each has a view on this case if she did not feel right in wanting to do what he wanted to think she was crazy best finish him off.
As I said I think it would end badly with her probably go crazy and like many couples with this problem it could suffer from abuse, domestic violence.
No, because I think if he liked it so much this relationship would not end and he had had to accept her decision. Maybe in time she began to accept this better.
I think it was a despicable act. Perhaps he was bribed by her boyfriend trying to convince her to change her mind. So do not think he should keep the relationship as each has their discussions and this matter would be up to them to solve, as I said in addition each has his opinion.
Condom use could have solved this situation, it is the best method to not get pregnant the pill is not as good, but if it does not feel he was only prepared to respect your opinion.
Of course not, because in the age of 16 or 17 years the sex must be probably the first.
Even though physical attraction for another person if one did not feel prepared to do it do not.
If the relationship happens to be one of them as I have said has not prepared the standard is rather be with traumas that can stay for life or until the contrary you can please. This is due to the fact that what may not come to be what they thought it was.
Any pregnancy should take place only if the two people concerned feel glad to have a child and that the relationship is stable whether emotional or financial. In this case the responsibility must be assumed by two since there was only the hand that created it was also the father, although in some cases when there is such a divorce in which the father assumes the responsibility that this evil.
As I said even using contraception pregnancy may occur because there are better and some worse, and even those may not be able.
There is another form of pleasure but who think like you believe that sex is only one.
João rrodrigues 10 ºa Nº17 - ESHN
Well it depends, if he was forcing her and/or saying that not ahving sex was wrong, etc. Yes, because when you are in a relationship you need to understand your partner and his/her needs.
But like [b/]demosfen[b] said It's hard ti answer to this questions without knowing what kind of relationship they had...
I don't know... She would have felt bad torwards agaisnt herself, because she went agaisnt her beliefes(or believes or whatever x_x) I also don't know if he loved her, but my best guess would be no, if he really loved her he wouldn't force her to do something she didn't want to.
I bet they told her she was dumb or stupid or something, that sex was wonderful and she should do it , I also bet they didn't understand her position in this situation o.o
No, her problem wasn't pregnancy, her problem was that she didn't feel like it was the right time to do it, or the right one perhaps?( hehe.. lol)
We can't say if someone is mature enoguh to have sex only looing at their age, their mentally is the most important thing to see if they're mature enough to have sex
Hell yeah! o.o(... xD) If they're both physicly attracted and if they agree they should ahve sex, if they only felt physicly attracted I don't think so... Because there was no feeling o.o
If they did have sex, and she got pregnant, they would both have responsibility, he forced her to, and she let him so... o.o
lol, if people know how to use contraceptive cautions no there wont be a pregnancy xD
Sex might even not give them pleasure, they might be raeally not good in bed? lol x] joking, there alot of ways to achieve pleasure, it changes from people to people o.o
Diogo G. Nº7 9ºB
Escola Secundária de Camarate
From what we know, it seems that Helena's decision was the right one. However, we don't know much about what they've talked. Sergio has no right to pressure or demand sexual intercourse. He she should talk to her about his feelings and desires even if they're different from hers.
11ºC escola D. Filipa de Lencastre EB 2,3 e sec.
Catarina R. and Rita V. (Henriques Nogueira School, 10ºA) said: «In our opinion, Helena took the best option because sérgio wanted to do something against her will. Both had their way of seeing things and if Helena did not want to do what he wanted, so Sergio must respect her decision... if he really liked her respected her. But we must bear in mind that we are girls and boys have another way of seeing things. 2. By surrendering to the boyfriend, she would feel disappointed with herself for not having done what she wanted to do really. 3. No. 4. "Friend" of Helena, is not a really friend. Helena has shown her its principles and if she was a friend helped her and should not press her. This way, that attitude of "friend" took her to solitude.5. No, we do not think the pill or using condoms was a solution of their problems because real problem was that Sergio forced her to do something she did not want to do. 6. Yes some do not. It depends on the mentality , seeing that young people from countries and cultures have different educations and different ways of thinking. To have sex it takes two people to trust, to know and love one another. Nowadays young people have sex only because they are just interested in telling friends that have done so and to show a higher value. In this age teenager is not safe or responsable, so you must beaware of their actions. 7. The physical attraction between young people is nothing more than attraction, a hard time and finishes in a short time. When having sex, young people find themselves superior and an attraction can lead them to it, but it is not the correct behavior. When sex finish, boys are satisfied and they do not think about it again, for boys was just a flirtation. For the girl, this works in a different way because they have another mentality, and think about it and feel worse. 8. This is a difficult case. For both are responsible for a consequence, both must take responsibility. It would be extremely difficult, because as teens are not psychologically stable and economically stable 9. Almost none contraceptives are 100% reliable, but some are. But it also depends on the contraceptive that is used and the probability of fail. 10. No, sex is not the only form of pleasure. The company and the feelings of others that we love are more important»
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